Somewhere Before Contented Peace

Its about time I write something that doesn't include Mitt Romney's name (the first sentence doesn't count, right?)

I'm up late again, and I've been thumbing through old photos. Summer 2011 is my happy place. Its no surprise I landed there on a night like this; a night I can't help but feel something is missing. Maybe its the loneliness talking. Too many nights spent cleaning one's apartment in a strange city can quickly lead to some unwanted soul searching.

Why was I so happy then? That question is answered before I finish writing it. Summer 2011 was a summer spent in total harmony with Father's will, in the company of believers who loved and encouraged me in a way I had never experienced. It was a summer of pouring out, of loving on strangers as though they were my own children (I don't refer to my students as "my babies" for nothing). It was a summer of healing; a summer of falling in love with a King who had pursued my heart for so long. This isn't a major newsflash. Anyone who has kept up with my journey knows exactly what went down that summer.

I suppose the better question is why I keep looking back; why am I searching for that feeling that overwhelmed my heart just a year ago? How do I find myself in the midst of my dream, yet looking back on a sleepless summer full of sweat, tears and breaking?

There's a question I don't have an answer for. I can tell you this though...I SO miss ministry. Don't think I'm wishing my time in this world away. My heart is just longing for something deeper.

Something like this day. I can't tell you how long I fought these kids to accomplish this task. Lap sit was a simple filler game, but I never anticipated the conflict it would bring. Students were uncomfortable with the idea of sitting on a stranger's lap, if only for the sake of a trust exercise.I should have known better...middle schoolers:)

After quite the stern lecture on maturity from yours truly (not my finest hour), I asked students who weren't mature enough to participate to step out and encourage those who were willing to give the exercise a go. Needless to say, they all participated, and they did it!! In a circle, my students sat on the lap of the person behind them, while providing a seat to the person in front of them. I don't know much about physics, but I do know that the weight is supported by the entire group easily. Below, you'll see my babies sitting in a circle for the entirety of "Jesus Loves Me". The interpretive dance was my doing. Grin.

Where does this feeling come from? Is it the high of camp, or simply the peace of doing life the way it was meant to be lived, smack in the middle of Father's will? I don't know where that contentment comes from, but believe you me, I'm searching furiously. Any directions would be greatly appreciated...