I'm Not Able

¹ And you were dead in the trespasses and sins ² in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— ³ among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the bodyand the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. ⁴ ButGod, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— ⁶ and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷ so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Ephesians 2:1-10

Too much repining can get me riled up. Especially when I run across garbage like this. Call me negative if you want, but surely I’m not the only one who is sick of hearing all of this “Believe in Yourself, You can achieve anything” self-talk, mumbo jumbo garbage. Really, do you truly want to put faith in your own ablities? The King of the Universe, he who breathed and the world came to be- do you really think you have anything to offer him?Scripture tells us that man is dead in his sin. What then, does a dead man have to offer a king?

Absolutely nothing.

I, who am inherently sinful, self-seeking, and evil at the very core of my soul, don’t have anything to give this man named Jesus. Not my time, which I frequently squander. Not my words, which are often wrong, arrogant, or judgmental. Not even my talents, which are few and flawed at best compared to the immeasurable power of Almighty God. When you strip it all away, I am nothing more than a lifeless slave to the passions of this world.

But Christ offers me a resurrection. He willingly gives regeneration to those who recognize they have nothing good within them. Its a priceless gift, one this wrecked and ravaged sinner could never afford.

So I don’t want to believe in myself, because who I am is worthless. I want to believe in the gift I’ve been given, in the power that lies within me through the gift of the Spirit of God.

I certainly have nothing to give.

Occupy Gratitude

Let me begin by making one thing absolutely clear: This is in no way, shape or form a political statement of any kind. Don’t try to argue politics with me on this one, because quite frankly, I don’t want to hear it. Rather, see this a call to perspective, to look at our seemingly dismal situations from a global standpoint. This is not a matter of partisanship; its a matter of the condition of the heart.

On my way home from class each day, I take South Limestone all the way to Paris Pike. Its not a terribly long drive, but it is certainly an interesting trip. Over the course of my twenty minute commute, I see just about everything Lexington has to offer. The University of Kentucky is everything a college campus should be; sprawling, inviting, and full of life. Downtown Lexington is no less lively, and though it pales in comparison to major US cities, its size is certainly impressive to a small town girl like me.

As I make my way out of town, I pass through a mile of historic buildings and modern town homes. This is the part of my trip that disturbs me. You see, every day, I drive past a lovely, 3 story brick home in the middle of town. There is nothing about the structure itself that caught my eye, but rather the sign posted conspicuously in the center of the yard. This sign displays the well known slogan of the Occupy Wall Street movement, declaring very plainly, “We are the 99%”.

To be completely honest, driving past this house makes me madder than a cat in a swimming pool. It seems a bit ironic to me that the nicest house on the street is the one publicly protesting income inequality, claiming to be among the least privileged citizens of the country. To add insult to injury, traveling less than a mile down the road brings you to the poorest and most crime infested part of Lexington. Not a single Occupy Wall Street sign is found here, yet these are the Americans who truly represent the most underprivileged citizens in our country.

This area of Lexington doesn’t even begin to compare to other regions of the state. Without a doubt, there are certainly areas of the United States where abject poverty exists, but does the family in this house actually understand what that is like? Have they ever traveled just two hours east to Owsley Co., KY, the poorest county in the nation (as of the 2010 census) with a median income of only $18,869? I can’t help but think if they had, they just might take that sign out of their yard.

But this is not the part that angers me the most; no, it is the thought of our brothers and sisters around the globe who can only dream of living in the “slums” of Lexington. I’ve got a little newsflash for all you Occupiers out there: You may not be in the top 1% of the United States, but I can almost guarantee you are in the top 1% globally. It only takes an annual income of $34,000 to fall into this category. To qualify for the top 10%, one would only need to earn only $12,000 annually.

You read that right. The majority of our Owsley Co. neighbors, the poorest of all Americans, are among the richest 10% of the world.

In the book of Luke, Jesus finishes one of his many parables with this:

Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.

Luke 12:48b

Often times, we assume that this verse is referring to monetary blessings, and I certainly believe it is applicable to our finances. I believe financial offerings are one of the highest acts of worship, as they require us to make sacrifices that often hurt. However, I think it is important to look at this verse in a broader context of blessings. Not to offend Joel Osteen or anything, but God never once promised his children financial security. Does that make the poorest among us any less blessed?

At this moment in time, there are 27 million people living in slavery worldwide. That is the highest number of slaves in human history. A girl born in South Africa is more likely to be raped in her lifetime than learn to read. And right now 143,000,000 children are orphan. 143 babies with no one to care for them.

If you live in America, the fact of the matter is you are crazy, crazy blessed. If you can call yourself a child of the Most High God, you have the one thing that is more precious than anything this world could ever offer. You may not make an excess of $350,000 a year, but MUCH has been entrusted to you.

What are you going to do with it?

My New Semester Resolutions

I’ll be the first to admit that I have never been one to get excited about the New Year. In my mind, its a day like any other, and I’ve never been drawn to the idea of a “starting fresh”. A new semester, on the other hand, carries a different appeal to me. Maybe its the change of pace or the change in my schedule that makes it feel so different, but I cherish the potential a new semester presents me with. Because of this, I have decided in lieu of a New Years resolution, I will instead make a New Semester Resolution.

This semester, aside from the standard decision to  make more time for running, sleeping, and studying, I have adopted this motto:

Be more of a Mary, and less of a Martha.

The story of Martha and Mary is pretty well known, so I’m sure you know what I’m getting at. This semester, I want to spend less time worrying about cleaning my house. I know that probably sounds a little silly to most, but I’m actually quite the neat freak, so much so that I will refuse to have guests in my house unless I know that it is spotless. I’ll take out hours on a Saturday afternoon to scrub from top to bottom, and I find it difficult to sleep knowing there are dishes in the sink (I’m not kidding on that one. I’m totally psycho). But by being so uptight about the condition of my home, how much time am I wasting that could be used for something profitable? What if I were half as worried about the condition of my heart as I am the condition of my home?

This semester, I will be more intentional with my girls. If that means having them over for coffee and letting the laundry sit a little longer, so be it. At the end of my life, I want to meet the Lord and have more to say for myself than “But Father, you could eat off my kitchen floors!”

I was sharing this thought with my roommate, Carolyn, on Tuesday night, asking her to hold me accountable. This same evening, I went to an event called “Night of Worship” at church with some of my sisters. As if the Lord were trying to offer his encouragement, the devotional offered that night was on this very topic. However, the pastor did not teach on the passage of scripture in which Jesus visits Mary and Martha’s home in Luke 10. Rather, he took us to the account of the death of Lazarus.

On the surface, I’m sure this passage seems wholly irrelevant to my resolution. However, this account gives an interesting perspective on the hearts of these two women who were precious to the heart of Jesus.

Scripture tells us that when Jesus knew that Lazarus had died, he went to Judea to be with his friend. As he made his way into the city, he was met by Martha, who came to voice her frustrations to him. In John 11:21, Martha meets the Lord on the streets of Bethany, exclaiming “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died!” Christ answers her concerns with a lesson, “I am the Resurrection and the Life.” (v. 25).

Martha goes back to her home, this time sending Mary to meet Jesus. When she arrives, she falls on her face and cries “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died!” (v. 32). Sound familiar? Its the very same cry Martha met Jesus with. Yet when Mary says this, it brings quite a different response. Scripture says that the heart of Jesus was deeply moved, so much so that he went to the tomb of his friend Lazarus and wept himself, before calling the dead man out of the tomb and raising him to life.

What’s the difference here? Once again, its a heart issue. Martha brought her concerns to the Lord out of anger, frustration, and accusation, but Mary approached Christ humbly broken, and his spirit was deeply moved.

Martha got a theology lesson. Mary got a resurrection.

This semester, I’m desperate for a resurrection. I’m overloaded and tired, and my soul needs revival. I need a reminder that the Lord called me here, to this city at this moment in time, for a spectacular purpose. His spectacular purpose.

This semester, I will strive to give more, complain less, and take every situation to the Lord with humility. I will take the time to listen, love, and point others toward Jesus.

Oh, and regular trips to the gym couldn’t hurt either:)

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqDSemdyKG0?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0&w=500&h=374]

This came from Passion 2012…Everytime I watch, I can’t help but feel that I’m catching a little glimpse of heaven…I can’t wait to join in one day. “God doesn’t speak English; He speaks the world.”

(Source: http://www.youtube.com/)